At some point in your life, whether you knew the word or not, you’ve probably felt that strange sense of ‘sonder.’

It’s that feeling we all get sometimes, a mix of awe and a little unease, realizing that everyone around us is living their own full, complicated life. It’s the kind of thing that’s hard to put into words when it hits you.

Have you ever looked around a crowded space and thought, “Wow, all these people have their own stories”?

What Is Sonder Means?

Sonder is the profound realization that each person you pass by, interact with, or even briefly notice is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. It’s the awareness that everyone around you has their thoughts, experiences, dreams, and struggles — all happening in parallel to yours.

Imagine walking through a crowded street and suddenly understanding that every person has a story, their journey, and their challenges, which you might never fully know. It’s a humbling, eye-opening feeling that can make you more compassionate and mindful of others, knowing that everyone is navigating their own rich, intricate life, just like you.

What ‘sonder’ most beautifully reveals

Or maybe you’ve been in a moment where you suddenly realize everyone else has their thoughts, experiences, and dreams, just like you. That’s sonder — the realization that every person you pass by is living a life as detailed and complex as your own, and you’re just a small part of it.

Think about it. When you’re out and about, you’ve got your reasons for being there, your home to return to, and a whole bunch of things on your mind that make you who you are. But so does everyone else. That guy who let you off the bus this morning? He has his hopes, dreams, and life story, just like you — even though, to you, he’s just a passing face on an ordinary day.

Once in a while, though, we get this rare moment of clarity, where we remember that everyone around us is living their life just like we are, with a whole world of thoughts and feelings tucked away in their minds.

Every person you pass is carrying around their own story, their own experiences that shape who they are. You’ll probably only ever glimpse a tiny piece of that story, just like they’ll only ever catch a sliver of yours. But it’s still incredible to think about how much is going on beneath the surface.

Some people love the feeling of sonder.

One person said it’s amazing to think about how, right now, someone is taking a shower, someone else is walking their dog, and another family is sitting down for dinner. It’s like a snapshot of the incredible variety of life happening all at once.

Another person said we should all live with more sonder — be more aware of the richness of other people’s lives. And someone else admitted they’d felt it before, but didn’t have the words for it until they learned what sonder meant.

At the end of the day, everyone’s the main character in their own story, not just background scenery in yours. It’s mind-blowing when you stop and think about how every single person around you is living a life as unique and full as your own.

You may never get to know them fully, but in those moments when you realize it, it’s pretty amazing to just take in the wonder of it all.

Why does it matter?

When you embrace the idea of sonder, you start to accept your journey while understanding that everyone who crosses your path, even those who may hurt you, are just doing the best they can—just like you.

Studies show that showing compassion towards others isn’t just good for them, but also for you. It can improve your health and may even help you live longer!

Plus, sonder helps you realize that as the main character in your story, only you have the power to save yourself and create the life you want. Taking responsibility for yourself also makes it easier to face your fears, because no one else can do that for you. In the end, you’ll be the one who reaps the rewards or handles the challenges of overcoming them.